


Thirst Trap

by Glitter_Lisp



Category: Descendants (Disney Movies)
Genre: F/M, Gen, Harry Hook is a Troll, Post-Descendants 3, Social Media, Uma and Evie Do Nothing But Encourage Him, chat fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-14
Updated: 2019-08-14
Packaged: 2020-08-23 07:20:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20238916
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Glitter_Lisp/pseuds/Glitter_Lisp
Summary: Becoming internet famous was an accident. Using that fame for his own chaotic benefit, however, was entirely on purpose.





	Thirst Trap

**snost snevenge (snake lost revenge)**

**hurry hurk: **[image: Harry from the shoulders up, head tilted away from the camera to show off an impressive black eye illuminated by the morning light coming through his window]

**gilllll: **SICK

**uma lala um:** harry wtf did you do to yourself now

**hurry hurk:** I got up close and personal with my bedroom door last night, haha.

**jojo: **okay but why is this so artsy lmao

**herezo and gonzo:** that jawline tho

**gilllll:** thirst trap

**jojo:** them cheekbones 

**my bonny lies:** THIRST TRAP

**uma lala um: **i think it’s the hint of collarbone that really pulls this together yknow just so everyone knows he’s topless below the camera. 

**jojo**: aye aye very necessary, that collarbone, thank you mr hook

**gilllll:** THIRST TRAP!!!!

**desireepacito:** harry you could honestly break the internet with this please post it on the gram 

**my bonny lies:** T H I R S T T R A P

**gilllll: **T H I R S T!!!! T R A P!!!!!!!

**hurry hurk: **You want me to make an Instagram just to post a picture of my black eye? Seriously?

**uma lala um:** he speaks!!! honestly thought you just dropped that and then went back to sleep

**herezo and gonzo:** why do you always type with perfect grammar when you talk like such a monster i’m honestly shaking

**my bonny lies:** okay but fr des is right please post this and tag evie

**my bonny lies:** shell loose her mind

**hurry hurk:** It’s polite, Gonzo. Also, lose*

**my bonny lies:** i honestly hate you so much meet me in the pit 

**jojo:** im with bonny on this one let’s all kill harry show of ayes

**gilllll:** aye

**my bonny lies:** AYE AYE

**uma lala um:** eh

**desireepacito:** aye

**hurry hurk:** Aye.

**jojo:** hadsfklhadsuif

**jojo:** im shakinf

**jojo:** the POWER

**hurry hurk:** If I actually make an Instagram account and post this stupid picture, will you all leave me alone?

**uma lala um: **aye aye aye

**jojo:** aye

**my bonny lies:** nay

**uma lala um:** bonnys insane and her vote doesn’t count 

**uma lala um: **make that insta

**uma lala um:** captains orders

\-----

**lorge and in chorge**

**hurry hurk:** pls dont laugh at me but i legit dont know how to make an account

**uma lala um:** first off i want to applaud you on your continued text based trolling

**uma lala um:** second off i am laughing at you

**uma lala um:** third off im coming over give me 5 minutes

**hurry hurk:** aye hecking aye

**\-----**

**lorge and in chorge**

**uma lala um:** ok app store get to it

**hurry hurk:** you are SITTING NEXT TO ME

**uma lala um:** okay app store get to it

**hurry hurk: **kdlafja

**uma lala um:** stop staring at me or i’ll give u another black eye

**hurry hurk: **it’s downloading and im bored

**hurry hurk:** sing me a song

**hurry hurk: **NOT THATSONG

**uma lala um:** oh look at that it finished downloading now make that account dumbass

**uma lala um:** i know you know how btw you just wanted to hang out

**hurry hurk:** sorry not sorry

**uma lala um:** gdi stop smiling youre so lame

**hurry hurk:** ok whatever i made it are you happy now

**uma lala um: **lmao why is your handle just harry.hook

**hurry hurk: **its?? my name???

**uma lala um:** thats gay

**hurry hurk:** uma……..

**uma lala um: **sry sry

**uma lala um:** thats bi

**hurry hurk:** valid

**\-----**

**@harry.hook: **“Today: Harry’s face. Tomorrow: the world.” ~ my bedroom door, apparently #selfie #bruise #blackeye #vk #villainkid #villainkids #iwokeuplikethis

**\-----**

**blue hair don’t care**

**uma lala um:** did u see harry made an instagram? he has like 0 followers go make him feel better @harry.hook

**princessevie:** aw really? i’ll go look

**uma lala um: **did u look? its been like 5 minutes

**princessevie: **uma

**princessevie:** uma i am in CRISIS

**princessevie:** wHY would you make me look at that harry is a HOMEWRECKER

**uma lala um: **lmfao

\-----

**cauliflower**

**princessevie:** we have a situation

**jay jay the jetplane:** ??

**m’lady:** ?????

**princessevie:** carlos kiss your internet fame goodbye

**carl me maybe:** its not my fame its dude’s

**carl me maybe:** also why

**princessevie:** harry made an instagram

**princessevie:** and it is going to be the death of not only me but the entire internet

**princessevie:** @harry.hook

**carl me maybe:** holy

**m’lady:** wtfwtf

**jay jay the jetplane:** wow i almost forgot im gay im so glad he reminded me

**\-----**

**snost snevenge (snake lost revenge)**

**jojo: **so harry mate how many followers do you have now

**jojo: **it’s gotta be at least like 50 right?

**hurry hurk:** I actually don’t know. Let me check.

**herezo and gonzo:** harry i am honestly begging you please just mispell one word pLEASE

**hurry hurk:** 420

**desireepacito:** blaze it

**hurry hurk:** No, that’s how many followers I have.

**gilllll: **u have posted ONE PICTURE

**\-----**

**@harry.hook: **[image: Harry’s laughing face from the neck up, hook held up so the handle covers his bruised eye] 

**@harry.hook:** Wow, thanks for 500 followers! Didn’t expect that, especially not on my first day. Here’s hoping the bruise will fade soon, huh? #selfie #bruise #hook #blackeye #vk #villainkid #villainkids

**\-----**

**lorge and in chorge**

**uma lala um:** you know exactly what you’re doing, dont you

**hurry hurk: **gotta give the people what they want, captain

**\-----**

**@auradondude:** [image: Harry lying on his back in the grass. Dude is asleep on his chest, holding Harry’s hook in his mouth.]

**@auradondude:** Welcome to Instagram, @harry.hook! #tbt to that time I couldn’t find my favorite ball so you let me play fetch with your hand. You’re the real mvp. #dogs #auradondude #villainkids #villaindogs #harryhook

**\-----**

**cauliflower**

**m’lady:** give it up carlos

**carl me maybe:** dont know what youre talking about

**m’lady:** you cant take capitalize on harrys new fame to promote your own content 

**m’lady: **it won’t work

**carl me maybe:** tell that to my 127 new followers

**m’lady:** it will work a little bit

**jay jay the jetplane:** lmao

**\-----**

**eyeliner sharp enough to kill a man**

**princessevie:** i want you to know that doug just asked me if he could put you on his cheat list

**hurry hurk:** What’s a “cheat list?”

**princessevie:** you’re not fooling anyone asshole

**hurry hurk: **:) thx evie i needed to hear that today

**\-----**

**@harry.hook: **[image: Harry from the shoulders up, angled slightly away from the camera. The bruise over his eye has faded to a pale yellow and a shade of green that perfectly matches his eyes. His is mouth is half open, lower lip pinched between his thumb and forefinger and pulled slightly forward.]

**@harry.hook:** It’s finally starting to fade enough that I look human again, ha. I’ll still be wearing sunglasses for another few days, but it’s not as bad as it was, at least! #selfie #bruise #justbarelyanymore #vk #villainkid #villainkids

**\-----**

**snost snevenge (snake lost revenge)**

**desireepacito:** [screenshot]

**desireepacito: **this is a callout post

**desireepacito:** at harry 

**desireepacito:** for BEING A SLUT

**hurry hurk:** What are you talking about?

**my bonny lies:** wtf hook

**gilllll:** this is obscene

**gilllll:** some of ur followers are CHILDREN

**hurry hurk:** Guys, I honestly don’t know what you’re talking about. I just posted a picture because someone asked how my eye was doing.

**herezo and gonzo:** what is going on with your mouth there 

**herezo and gonzo: **was that necessary

**hurry hurk:** Evie said it would look good. Does it not?

**jojo:** of COURSE evie is responsible for this

**my bonny lies:** does that make evie harrys pimp

**hurry hurk:** It’s just a picture! What are you talking about?!

**uma lala um: **hey, no slut shaming in the group chat

**uma lala um:** if harry wants to partake in the oldest profession in the world he can

**uma lala um: **and we will support him

**uma lala um:** harry, we support you and your questionable career choices

**hurry hurk:** Thank you? I guess?

**\-----**

**lorge and in chorge**

**uma lala um:** im honestly dying this is the funniest thing you’ve ever done in your life

**hurry hurk:** i KNOW

**uma lala um:** how long are you gonna ride this out

**hurry hurk:** until it stops being funny

**uma lala um: **so, never

**hurry hurk:** i saved the world while wearing eyeliner and a leather harness how do they think i don’t know what im doing

**uma lala um:** dasfaksldgj i forgot about that omg

**uma lala um:** are our friends just really dumb?

**hurry hurk:** it’s bcuz i use proper grammar in the chat 

**hurry hurk:** watch this

**\-----**

**snost snevenge (snake lost revenge)**

**hurry hurk:** Mates, I’m honestly getting concerned here. Am I doing something wrong? Should I take the picture down?

**jojo: **no no your fine!

**desireepacito:** we’re just teasing, harry

**herezo and gonzo: **it’s actually a really nice picture

**gilllll:** you’re not doing anything wrong pal, dont worry about it

**uma lala um:** omg

**\-----**

**lorge and in chorge**

**uma lala um:** im screamingadalfjdla

**hurry hurk:** <3

**\-----**

**@harry.hook: **[image: Harry from behind, sitting in front of a vanity. Evie is just barely visible in the reflection of the mirror, holding her phone up to take a picture. Harry is looking over his shoulder and laughing. He has one hand braced on the table top and the other holding a pencil eyeliner. He is wearing pajama pants but no shirt.]

**@harry.hook: **@evies4hearts was supposed to be giving me a makeover. Instead, she left me to do it myself so she could go get a snack and then take sneaky pictures while I wasn’t paying attention. Love this crazy girl <3 #candid #nomakeup #unfortunately #girlsnight #makeover #bestfriends #vk #villainkid #villainkids

**\-----**

**eyeliner sharp enough to kill a man**

**hurry hurk:** thx again for taking that pic

**princessevie:** honestly im not even mad that it took 50000 tries

**princessevie:** i’d do you tbh

**hurry hurk:** ngl id do myself

**\-----**

**cheeky nandos with the boys**

**gilllll: **im going to ask u a question and i want u to answer honestly

**hurry hurk:** Always honest with you, mate.

**gilllll:** are u doing the instagram thing on purpose

**hurry hurk:** What Instagram thing?

**gilllll:** uh huh

**hurry hurk:** :)

**\-----**

**cauliflower**

**carl me maybe:** harry officially has more followers than dude im gonna cry

**carl me maybe:** how could anyone like him more than my dog

**jay jay the jet plane:** idk put dude in eyeliner and see what happens

**m’lady:** it’s like this

**m’lady:** people like dudes insta because he’s cute and silly

**m’lady:** people like harrys because hes a half naked twink in heavy eye makeup

**m’lady:** do you see the difference?

**carl me maybe:** ???????

**jay jay the jetplane:** dude is fluffy and innocent. harry is sexy and yet somehow also innocent

**carl me maybe:** no one who bites his lip that much is innocent

**jay jay the jetplane:** i asked him why he posts so many thirst traps and i shit you not he googled it right then and there

**jay jay the jetplane:** how do you tell someone that when strangers on the internet call him pretty they mean they want to bang him like a screen door

**princessevie:** im crying

**\-----**

**eyeliner sharp enough to kill a man**

**princessevie: **[screenshot]

**princessevie:** you did NOT

**hurry hurk:** lmfao he looked so concerned

**hurry hurk:** ‘no don’t worry about it harry, just maybe don’t read the comments on your posts, okay? people on the internet are really uhhhh weird’

**princessevie:** there are literal tears in my eyes how are you doing this

**hurry hurk:** by doing my best impression of a sad chinchilla whenever anyone asks me about it

**\-----**

**@harry.hook:** [image: a sad chinchilla]

**\-----**

**lorge and in chorge:**

**uma lala um:** ?

**hurry hurk:** oh no sorry i posted that for evie

**uma lala um:** oh cool i was almost worried lmao

**\-----**

**blue hair don’t care**

**uma lala um:** it has come to my attention that you know what harrys doing

**princessevie:** you mean trolling the entire internet and all of his friends by posting increasingly sexy photos of himself on social media and pretending he doesnt know theyre sexy?

**uma lala um:** lmao yeah

**princessevie:** yeah i know

**uma lala um:** honestly i was gonna suggest we post screencaps or smth but when you spell it out like that its still too funny to ruin this

**princessevie:** agreed but also be honest

**princessevie:** youre enjoying the shirtless photos

**uma lala um:** how dare you suggest such a thing

**princessevie:** –_–

**uma lala um:** lmao what can i say my boy is hot

**princessevie:** mood

**\-----**

**@harry.hook:** [image: Harry lying on his back on a sofa, legs spread wide. One leg is hooked over the back of the couch and the other is bent so his foot is flat on the floor. His arms are stretched up, one tucked under his head and the other bent over the armrest behind him. He’s wearing a thin, nearly see-through tank top, which has ridden half way up his stomach to reveal his abs. His tight jeans are low enough on his hips that they just barely cover him. His eyes are half lidded as he stares straight at the camera, teeth digging into his lower lip.]

**@harry.hook:** Feeling cute today! ^u^ #vk #villainkid #villainkids #ootd #chillinlikeavillain


End file.
